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Author Topic: ARTICLE 37 FREE ZONE - WARNING ENTER HERE ONLY AFTER LISTENING TO EPI 30  (Read 15531 times)
nlowell
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« Reply #90 on: February 02, 2011, 02:40:03 PM »

@classicw - The memorial service never happened. That's why it's missing. The ship went back to space. And since the book was done long before the question of the paparazzi came up, it was a bit late to re-write it. The key information that was most important would not have been available to the press since it was part of an on-going investigation. I like the idea that some of it might have come out in the newsies, but they'd only get snippets when they were in Diurnia.

JR, FWIW - on episode lengths:

26 - 6890
27 - 7100
28 - 6500
29 - 7000
30 - 7900

The minimum size I wanted was 5000 but I also wanted episodes that are approximately the same size. Because the last two chapters were only 4400 words, I needed to add some more to it. These were the best balance of word counts (which corresponds to elapsed time) I could do at this point in the book. Note that only the last episode is substantially longer than the rest, and twenty-eight is actually a bit shorter.

As for the rest, feel free to keep pitching, but you're not selling me.
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classicw
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« Reply #91 on: February 02, 2011, 03:32:26 PM »

@classicw - The memorial service never happened. That's why it's missing. The ship went back to space. And since the book was done long before the question of the paparazzi came up, it was a bit late to re-write it. The key information that was most important would not have been available to the press since it was part of an on-going investigation. I like the idea that some of it might have come out in the newsies, but they'd only get snippets when they were in Diurnia.

Is there a reason beyond the ship sailing again that there wasn't a memorial service?  I wouldn't have expected there to be one on Greefields in the days following the attack, but I did think there would have been one to have been held on Diurnia at a later date, presumably at least when the Agamemnon would have been in port at the same time, so that those who knew her best would have been able to attend.  (Given the Iris's speed, I presume it could easily arrange the flight schedule to coincide with arriving on Diurnia while the Agamemnon is in port.)

I don't quite see why any news about Simpson and his trial would have been available only in Diurnia.  Given how big I presume the story to be, I would think that all systems in that quadrant would be getting that story as ships jumping in from Diurnia would carry it in their data packets, especially once the trial began.  Sure, the Iris would pick up the freshest and most complete news in Diurnia, but I would think that the systems less traveled would still pick up that news story even if they have older and perhaps less detailed reports.  Also, while the initial news story was short on details because the investigation was "on-going," I would think that once the trial began, that investigation would be generally over, and the newsies would report on the details of Simpson's accused crimes as they are revealed and presented in his trial. 

Maybe a better question is, when is/was Simpson's trial?  I thought that it was mentioned before Ish meets up with Kurt that the trial had begun, but is Simpson's trial still going on at the end of the book, or had it already concluded?  Would the trial have been open to the public and news reporting, or would it have been possibly sealed due to the far reaching and sensitive nature of essentially Simpson's insider trading and possible corporate espionage perpetrated through his control of Umbra Security?

As an aside, where was Umbra Security based?  How far did its services reach?
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nlowell
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« Reply #92 on: February 02, 2011, 08:16:39 PM »

Is there a reason beyond the ship sailing again that there wasn't a memorial service?  I wouldn't have expected there to be one on Greefields in the days following the attack, but I did think there would have been one to have been held on Diurnia at a later date, presumably at least when the Agamemnon would have been in port at the same time, so that those who knew her best would have been able to attend.  (Given the Iris's speed, I presume it could easily arrange the flight schedule to coincide with arriving on Diurnia while the Agamemnon is in port.)

Maybe there was. The ship wasn't in port at the time. I'm sure her father and remaining sib had one back home, but that would have been in another sector and there's no information about that. I thought your question was why didn't Ishmael (or Christine) arrange one on Greenfields. Answer: they didn't. There's no answer to "why" there.


I don't quite see why any news about Simpson and his trial would have been available only in Diurnia.  Given how big I presume the story to be, I would think that all systems in that quadrant would be getting that story as ships jumping in from Diurnia would carry it in their data packets, especially once the trial began.  Sure, the Iris would pick up the freshest and most complete news in Diurnia, but I would think that the systems less traveled would still pick up that news story even if they have older and perhaps less detailed reports.  Also, while the initial news story was short on details because the investigation was "on-going," I would think that once the trial began, that investigation would be generally over, and the newsies would report on the details of Simpson's accused crimes as they are revealed and presented in his trial. 

It was a local story. I'm not sure why you'd presume the story would be big. The accused was an old man -- an broker in an accounting firm. Why would anybody outside of Diurnia -- or possibly Dree -- care?


Maybe a better question is, when is/was Simpson's trial?  I thought that it was mentioned before Ish meets up with Kurt that the trial had begun, but is Simpson's trial still going on at the end of the book, or had it already concluded?  Would the trial have been open to the public and news reporting, or would it have been possibly sealed due to the far reaching and sensitive nature of essentially Simpson's insider trading and possible corporate espionage perpetrated through his control of Umbra Security?

As an aside, where was Umbra Security based?  How far did its services reach?

I think Simpson's formal trial hadn't really started. What most people think of as "trial" is actually a long, drawn out process of legal wrangling and rule setting. It hadn't been more than a few months and this would have taken a stanyer or more just for Simpson's lawyers to run out of delaying tactics, but it's not the Simpson investigation that was ongoing.

Umbra was located on Diurnia with a branch office on Dree. Their customers were high profile business people and politicians. You can imagine what the fall out might have been and unfortunately you'll just have to imagine it because it wasn't something Ishmael was privy to during the course of this story.

 
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classicw
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« Reply #93 on: February 02, 2011, 09:44:43 PM »

It was a local story. I'm not sure why you'd presume the story would be big. The accused was an old man -- an broker in an accounting firm. Why would anybody outside of Diurnia -- or possibly Dree -- care? 
 

I guess I presumed that Simpson's accounting firm would have handled business throughout the quadrant, with branches in the orbitals of other systems.  I presumed this not off of anything that's specifically in the book or that you've shared here, but I extended out the idea of Simpson using Umbra security as what seems to be "corporate spies." Given what you have said here, I took it to mean that Simpson was using the inside information to trade on, get inside tracks on lucrative deals and mergers, possibly use information attained from a bodyguard with one company, to undercut, blackmail, or even sink that company if it would mean better profits through a rival.  I just extended the implications of that to conclude that Simpson would have as many fishing lines in as many companies/systems as conveniently possible to maximize both the usefulness of and profits from that inside information.  Therefore when he is caught, I supposed that many companies throughout the quadrant (who used Umbra Security) would suddenly find themselves very compromised, exposed, and hopping mad, and with a desperate need to clean house and assess the losses they accrued so that Simpson and his company could get richer.

So, I presumed that Simpson's dirty deeds crossed many system jurisdictional lines, thus becoming a "Federal" case and not just a local "Diurnia" case.  (And given that Kurt says it was the CPJCT's investigation that caught Simpson, that would seem to be true.)  I kind of had the impression this would have been like a news story about the exposure of a massive poncy scheme laced with murder.  Such a story would be national news here, and not just local.  Though with that analogy, I would concede that beyond the initial "shock" and "soundbite" worthiness of the story, it probably would die off in other systems being buried under their local news. 

But if Simpson only dealt with information obtained from companies primarily in Diurnia and maybe Dree, then I could see the story being of interest only to those systems.  I guess I was inflating Simpson to be a larger villain than he was, and so of greater news worthiness than he ultimately would prove to be.
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« Reply #94 on: February 03, 2011, 12:48:02 AM »

Hi all, first time posting. I've been reading through the posts and have to say that it has helped explain in more detail some of the things that were a bit too subtle for me to pick up on. Not to say that subttlty isnt a good thing. It adds extra dimentions to the story the more its read and I wouldn't change it Smiley

Many people commented how much it hurt to see Greta die. I myself was one of them but applaud your ability Nate to endear a fictional character to me so much that I get a real physical reaction when something happens to them. Anyone who can make me either love or loath a character has done their job as a brilliant writer Smiley

Two things though. #1 I kind of thought Ish would have taken it upon himself to take Greta's body back to her family insead of shipping her out like a crate of cargo. It seemed to be the honorable thing to do and something I would have done in his position (of course I am not him and everyone handles grief differently, but just thought I would mention it.

#2 ... crud... I forgot. Ill post if if it comes back to me Wink
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centred
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« Reply #95 on: February 03, 2011, 01:04:55 AM »

#2.... I remember!

While Ish is the main character and there have been a few positive supporting male cast members (Pip, Billy, ect), there seems to be a theme running along that suggests males are genrally "bad" and females generally "good". Certainly the penchant for good and bad actns isnt delineated by sex so my question to you is, have you or would you consider to make one of your future antagonists female?

I kind of expected Sarah to be the concetied delletante archytype used to her gucci handbags and palacial apartments. Certainly Ish would have had a bit tougher time trying to rein her in, though I suspect you wanted to avoid such an obvious and overplayed stereotype for just that reason (obvious and overplayed)

all your characters have great depth but women can be just as crazy as men Wink

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JaneAtPlay
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« Reply #96 on: February 03, 2011, 02:32:37 AM »

Thank you Nate for spending so much time engaging your readers in this forum and responding with so much patience and grace.  It is your ball.  You could just kick dirt and choose not to play with us.     

I also didn't quite get all the Bailey/Perc/Simpson/Umbra things to fit together without the backstory but really, what would Ishmael gain in knowing all the dirty details?  I got caught up looking under rocks, so I wanted to know.  He was off moving freight and passengers while I was poking around for conspiracies.

On his returning to Port Newmar, I didn't see it as 'returning to his roots', other than Nate's commentary. I saw what Chief Stevens laid it out for him, all but wrapped up in a pretty bow. Ishmael is "in between" and he's off balance.  The chief has visited with with Sifu Newmar many times, for just those reasons. Stevens does have that deux ex machina shine, but I loved the character so much, I didn't care.  Bravo, Nate. Plus, its not that much different than Ishmael stumbling onto Annie O'Rourke at the beginning of QS.  Life needs a bit of serendipity.   
 
One question on visiting Sifu Newmar.  In DS (?) doesn't Ish actually say something about going back to see her?  I recall the sentence hitting me as odd, because it referenced a future action.  Anyway...   
 
There have been a couple of comments on Ish not working through the stages of grief, but I really thought they related more to someone facing their own death. I lost a relative to terminal illness and I'll tell you, she could circle through and around those middles stages of Anger/Bargaining/Depression and back again - all in a single day. There was no orderly progression to Acceptance. We do see plenty of grief and emotion.  I just don't think he's through it all yet.   
 
Ishmael  admits not mourning his mother properly until privately breaking down in Alys G. office 2 years later.  In initial reaction to Greta's sudden and senseless loss, I didn't expect the flood gates to open.  I got what I expected.  It's same thing we got when he returned to the Agamemnon after finding some other guy's boots under his bed.  "I'm the Captain.  My Ship Needs Me".   
 
We do see Ishmael struggle with his loss and gain some perspective. The attack scene replays intrusively in his head. He contemplates the 'what-if"s and feels the sting of being pitied.  He finds the bittersweet meaning in 'better to have loved and lost...."  On leaving Diurnia Ishmael admits the sapphire daggers of Greta's eyes had scarred him and he'd carry those scars for the rest of his life.  That whole scene is acutely painful and beautifully written..     
 
I've said it before.  I find the ending hopeful and I'm looking forward to Ishmael somewhere besides dock/deep dark/dock.  He may have cleaned out his grav trunk, but I don't think the emotional baggage from his time on the Iris will be left on the docks once takes to the ground.     
 
 
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nlowell
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« Reply #97 on: February 03, 2011, 08:55:03 AM »

#2.... I remember!

While Ish is the main character and there have been a few positive supporting male cast members (Pip, Billy, ect), there seems to be a theme running along that suggests males are genrally "bad" and females generally "good". Certainly the penchant for good and bad actns isnt delineated by sex so my question to you is, have you or would you consider to make one of your future antagonists female?

I kind of expected Sarah to be the concetied delletante archytype used to her gucci handbags and palacial apartments. Certainly Ish would have had a bit tougher time trying to rein her in, though I suspect you wanted to avoid such an obvious and overplayed stereotype for just that reason (obvious and overplayed)

all your characters have great depth but women can be just as crazy as men Wink



I think you mean Christine - Sarah is in a different book.

And yeah. Ravenwood has Tanyth Fairport as the main character. I think Sarah Krugg will probably be the MC in Cape Grace. I'm also thinking of doing a series of back story novels for some of the more interesting characters like the original Lois McKendrick who led the labor revolt and Cassandra Harrison who was the lonely captain in Full Share. There has been a lot of interest in Bev and Bril, too.

I suspect we'll see female villains as well. The male companionship issue is a good one and one that I need to explore more. It's been something that's developed outside of my attention - and it's not the only thing in the 900k words to do so. I think it needs a look.
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nlowell
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« Reply #98 on: February 03, 2011, 08:57:42 AM »



But if Simpson only dealt with information obtained from companies primarily in Diurnia and maybe Dree, then I could see the story being of interest only to those systems.  I guess I was inflating Simpson to be a larger villain than he was, and so of greater news worthiness than he ultimately would prove to be.

Remember that the key financial sectors are the Confederation sectors of Dree and Diurnia. Every other system is controlled by a single company or consortium. You don't need to go hunt down every lion on the veldt. Just wait at the watering hole and wait for them to come to you.
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nlowell
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« Reply #99 on: February 03, 2011, 09:04:47 AM »

Thank you Nate for spending so much time engaging your readers in this forum and responding with so much patience and grace.  It is your ball.  You could just kick dirt and choose not to play with us.     

I also didn't quite get all the Bailey/Perc/Simpson/Umbra things to fit together without the backstory but really, what would Ishmael gain in knowing all the dirty details?  I got caught up looking under rocks, so I wanted to know.  He was off moving freight and passengers while I was poking around for conspiracies.

Yeah. That's why I threw in the full reveal here. There was a TON of stuff going on that was too far under the surface to see directly but a lot of it had an effect on what Ishmael saw and did.

On his returning to Port Newmar, I didn't see it as 'returning to his roots', other than Nate's commentary. I saw what Chief Stevens laid it out for him, all but wrapped up in a pretty bow. Ishmael is "in between" and he's off balance.  The chief has visited with with Sifu Newmar many times, for just those reasons. Stevens does have that deux ex machina shine, but I loved the character so much, I didn't care.  Bravo, Nate. Plus, its not that much different than Ishmael stumbling onto Annie O'Rourke at the beginning of QS.  Life needs a bit of serendipity.   

You're allowed to have a bit of luck now and again. Ishmael has had a lot, but I think what makes Chief Stevens work is that she's not just somebody he knew at the academy but somebody he respected.

One question on visiting Sifu Newmar.  In DS (?) doesn't Ish actually say something about going back to see her?  I recall the sentence hitting me as odd, because it referenced a future action.  Anyway...   

it's possible. this idea is something I've had kicking about since I introduced her.



I've said it before.  I find the ending hopeful and I'm looking forward to Ishmael somewhere besides dock/deep dark/dock.  He may have cleaned out his grav trunk, but I don't think the emotional baggage from his time on the Iris will be left on the docks once takes to the ground.     


Hmm. Yanno, I think you're onto something there, Jane Smiley
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« Reply #100 on: February 03, 2011, 09:22:25 AM »

Hello, all.  This is another first time post.

I have a few comments about some of the plot elements in Owner's Share.

In Episode 10 (@ 2:28 minutes) there is a comment made by Stacey Arellone when Ishmael shows her how the ladder can be retracted into the deck:

Quote

When it (the ladder) was flush against the deck she frowned in concentration and looked around, first back at the lock and then into the cargo hold.

“That's why it looked odd, Sar.  The ladder was in the way.



To the best of my knowledge, prior to that point in the story she never made any comment about the cargo hold looking 'odd' and so the phrase “That's why it looked odd...” struck me as strange. In truth, this is a very small thing and is probably an oversight due to the massive amount of editing you did to reduce the word count. 


The second observation revolves around two points which have greater significance to me within the context of the story.

In Episode 10 (@ 33:30 minutes) William Simpson instructs Ishmael:

Quote

“  ...you'll be required to hold a board of directors meeting sometime in the next stanyear.”


No further mention of this meeting is ever made.  I interpreted that phrase “in the next stanyear” to mean 'within 365 days of the forming of the company' and so was sort of expecting something to come of it, most especially since it was an important legal requirement pertaining to the corporate structure which financed and allowed Ishmael to operate.

Then in Episode 27 (@ 03:23 minutes) William Simpson is explaining to Ishmael:

Quote

“Here's what will happen on the 26th, my boy.”  He laced his fingers together across his chest and continued. “Assuming you haven't the liquid assets needed to repay the loan, you will default and Larks, Simpson and Green will take ownership of that single share of stock that you have assigned as collateral.  Once that happens,  we'll sell it to an investor, removing ourselves from ownership and leaving you to deal with your board of directors.”

“You already have an investor, Sir?”

“We do, my boy, we do.”


This last one is rather a big issue in my mind.  Assuming that William Simpson could have figured out a way to entice someone from DST to accept ownership of that single share of stock in Ishmael's company, it would have effectively nullified Ms. Maloney's service on the Iris so that she would have failed in satisfying the terms of the will and would therefore be ineligible to take control of DST.  Such a maneuver would have triggered DST into going public and thus delivered the massive profits from the sale of the DST stock into William Simpson's greedy hands... and without any need for violence.

Speculation about such an event happening might have made for some interesting extra suspense in the plot line (was it perhaps already in the script, but removed?)

In any event, we never hear anything further concerning the sale of this single share of stock which is strange, most especially since Ishmael as head of his own corporation would have to have been informed of the name of that new shareholder.

I also see this as an integral part of the climax, or at very least an explanation in retrospect to the climax.


    1)   An attempt at selling off that share of stock to someone at DST, would have counted as the first tactic to unseat Ms. Maloney.


    2)   Failing in that, Simpson would have seized on the idea of manipulating Du Bois into bringing suit against Ms. Maloney.


    3)   Only when both of the first two attempts have failed to achieve the desired result does Simpson resort to violence in the form of Percival Herring.


At very least, it might have been interesting to hear a few sentences devoted to this when Kurt delivers his explanation about William Simpson and his links to Umbra, Bailey, etc.

… and finally...

My last observation about the plot line in "Owner's Share" concerns the unfortunate effects of Percival Herring's attack.  We lose Ms. Gerhardt and I, too, admit that I was quite shaken by the event.  It was not just that it happened, but that it seemed a little bit hard in contrast to the easygoing events which preceded it for much of the book.  Perhaps the jolt of same could have been softened slightly if Greta died as a result of some accident which occurred as a direct result of the struggle (such as some large piece of machinery falling over or what have you).

But I did not actually want to criticize this event in the plot, since, after listening to it a few times, I concluded that it was just another unfortunate, sad event occurring in Ishmael's life.  These events happen to us all, and unlike stories we cannot just put down the book or skip ahead to the next chapter... or complain to the writer.

And since a number of listeners did burn up precious time and oxygen complaining about the turn of events in the book I just wanted to take a moment to remind them that extreme loss was never anything new to Ishmael.  They all seem to forget that he lost his mother in the first few paragraphs of Quarter Share, a loss he really doesn't mourn properly until a few years later at the end of Full Share when he is about to leave the Lois for the academy.  And if Ishmael's development is in any form a result of her love and upbringing, then his mother was one, wonderful person.  I think that the readers never fully realize what a great loss this was for Ishmael because they never had the luxury of getting to know her as they did the character of chief engineer Greta Gerhardt.  But I am assuming the loss was at least as severe if not more so.

And then...

My last observation is that the book, Owner's Share, was wonderful as was the entire 'Share' series.  Thank you for all the fine listening pleasure, Mr. Lowell.


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« Reply #101 on: February 03, 2011, 12:11:20 PM »

Hi, I am jumping in with both feet here as the new member of the forum.  Why have a forum if nobody yaks, right?
 
I was amazed at the dichotomy of Ish wondering so much about the bodyguard issue and the results of article 37.  The thing is, he was right.  It sounds like a setup to make Mr. Simpson money and keep the "need" high.  Chief Bailey exempified this, but it took someone getting killed in an attack to prove this as it came out as a result of the investigation of the death.  Talking about irony.....

My next observation is the little discussed fact that the Chernyakova issue is not resolved.  Who owns her really?  Wasn't she claimed as salvage in the name of DST?  Hmmm.  A lot could be done with that with Nate's twisty mind chewing on it.  Wouldn't it be really ironic if Ish ends up in charge of the Chernyakova?  Just thinkin' here. 

This brings me to something I have sort of said before, Ish's skills are as a charismatic, caring, shaman-like people person.  Several folks have commented on that.  Also, however, he tends to gravitate to the top as he is also efficient (although a little "off" right now--he IS mourning).  He is a CAPTAIN.  The possibility is recognized throughout his career, starting with Annie and Cpt Giggone.  When he becomes a captain,  it is a mantle he dons, unknowingly at first, but that he recognizes when it is pointed out to him as he recognized Cassandra and others and knew when it was missing, ie, Rossett.  (I wonder how much moolah that guy made writing romance novels?)      The thing is, whatever he does, it must be under that banner, not necessarily AS captain, but in charge.  That doesn't mean he can't have colleagues, bosses, or whatever, but he has to be in charge of his part of the whatever. I wouldn't think he could go backwards.  What went wrong with Icarus was on the financial end.  He was out of his area of expertise and knew it, but latched on to the bad guy for help.  Talk about unlucky for your first foray into business, that took the cake.  Actually he got two advisors and the first one was worse to him (wandering around on a yacht) , but more right that the 2nd, that's for sure.

 Anyway, my thoughts.  I can't wait to see what Nate does with this guy.  There are so many great possibilities and we all love this character and wish him well.  Go Nate!
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« Reply #102 on: February 03, 2011, 03:54:49 PM »

My next observation is the little discussed fact that the Chernyakova issue is not resolved.  Who owns her really?  Wasn't she claimed as salvage in the name of DST?  Hmmm.  A lot could be done with that with Nate's twisty mind chewing on it.  Wouldn't it be really ironic if Ish ends up in charge of the Chernyakova?  Just thinkin' here.

One would expect that the ship would be placed in an impound yard/dock pending outcome of a salvage hearing and auction (If necessary).  In this case I believe it would be "Pure Salvage" claim of high-order (great risk to self/crew) that would be placed, and likely awarded.  There are some basic requirements that have to be met to fall into this class of salvage.

This being pure salvage instead of say, contract salvage the rules change.  Contract salvage you negotiate to recover the vessel for a pre-determined % of the vessel's worth (+cargo) etc...  There's a great article in Wired about ship salvage and a company that Mazda hired to recover one of its transport ships off the coast of Alaska.  The salvage company and Mazda and the insurance company and and were still haggling over the ship and cargo's worth.  Warning, it has its gruesome parts as someone in the article dies during the attempt.

Pretty much DST would put in its claim for 100% of ownership.
Then the insurance company comes along and they put in a claim as they insured the vessel.
And then the original owning company.
And probably the families of the deceased would throw their hat in.
Likely there would be a % fee for the court/investigators as well.

Once it's divvied up it's no different than people who had shares in Icarus as far as ownership.  Each party gets a Share, or multiple shares, and if any one party cannot or will not buy out the shares the property is sold at auction, and the proceeds divvied up as appropriate.  So the answer would be.  Many people own it, and therefore it will be sold to the benefit of all determined to have rightful claim.

Personally I think that might make a great side-story.  High-stakes ship salvage viewed long-term.  You (or your ancestor) calculates what kind of orbit (if possible) the derelict may take, and you mark it for your kid to come back and snag in 25 years.  Otherwise, plot its course, calculate the time/point at which it will pass the Burleson Limit for that solar system, attempt to guess what failed, load in spare parts.  Or in the case of life support systems possibly standalone power/filtering systems that can be adapted to a ship, and barrels of Lithium Hydroxide (or similar/newer/handwavium improved agent) attached to some sort of humidification/heating system.

Basically make first contact in EVA gear.  Inspect the ship, identify what went wrong, and then identify how to best recover it.  For example if you have a ship that snapped its spine and lost its kicker module you might be able to load in a portable generator unit that could be used to power the ship.  Stabilize the derelict's motion, determine the least valuable hold canister, unload its cargo, mount your generator device inside it, and cable it up to the ship's power feed.

The ships are already equipped with attachment points strong enough to attach tugs.  Pretty much you'd just need some sort of externally mountable drive unit that would use the tug tie off points as attachment point.  The engines could face forward (derelict's nose) so as not to damage the cargo with the kicker units.  Then fire them up and slowly ramp up the power to keep the structural strain on the unit as low as possible.

One of the things that does keep nagging at me though is the designs put forth on how the ships work.  The cargo containers are integral to the ship's spine in some cases.  What happens if a cargo compromises the structural integrity of that container?  The ship would be screwed and they'd have to hope they don't snap their own back when braking.   Also the docking design would be very stressful.  Any movement of the back of the ship due to a careless tug, or a tug that loses power and drifts into the Lois...  Basically anything that moves the ass-end of the boat would create a really nasty fulcrum effect on the docking clamp...
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« Reply #103 on: February 03, 2011, 04:21:34 PM »

One of the things that does keep nagging at me though is the designs put forth on how the ships work.  The cargo containers are integral to the ship's spine in some cases.  What happens if a cargo compromises the structural integrity of that container?  The ship would be screwed and they'd have to hope they don't snap their own back when braking.   Also the docking design would be very stressful.  Any movement of the back of the ship due to a careless tug, or a tug that loses power and drifts into the Lois...  Basically anything that moves the ass-end of the boat would create a really nasty fulcrum effect on the docking clamp...

These are in fact concerns, and part of the Cargo Master's job - remember when Pip was taking his Cargo Handler (which got upgraded to Cargoman) test, and he mentioned finding a strap that wasn't properly tightened?  As well, mention is made of possible rough handling by the tugs - I'm sure the tugs are indemnified against damage, and only attach at designated hard points (though it's at least suggested that the tugs use some kind of gravitic tractor beam, or *possibly* electromagnetic grapples.  I'm pretty sure it's tractor beams, though, as attaching grapples on a ship coming inwards to be docked would be an incredibly tricky maneuver.

Still, I'm sure the ships are engineered with quite a bit of safety leeway.  I suspect the cargo containers for the Lois are considered part of the ship, and are pulled, emptied, refilled, and replaced, rather than just being swapped around, as is the impression of the cans that the Agamemnon pulls.  However, if there's enough of that type of ship flying around, then perhaps they do have spares to fill while waiting for the ship to come in, and they just swap an empty for a full.

Much like sea sailing, work on the solar clippers is potentially very dangerous, and not for the faint of heart.
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nlowell
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« Reply #104 on: February 03, 2011, 05:36:46 PM »

Hello, all.  This is another first time post.

I have a few comments about some of the plot elements in Owner's Share.

In Episode 10 (@ 2:28 minutes) there is a comment made by Stacey Arellone when Ishmael shows her how the ladder can be retracted into the deck:

Quote

When it (the ladder) was flush against the deck she frowned in concentration and looked around, first back at the lock and then into the cargo hold.

“That's why it looked odd, Sar.  The ladder was in the way.



To the best of my knowledge, prior to that point in the story she never made any comment about the cargo hold looking 'odd' and so the phrase “That's why it looked odd...” struck me as strange. In truth, this is a very small thing and is probably an oversight due to the massive amount of editing you did to reduce the word count. 

She didn't say anything. This is where she makes the only comment. She's quite astute about the ship and its layout. As I've said in other places, almost all the cuts came between what is now chapter 1 and chapter 2.



The second observation revolves around two points which have greater significance to me within the context of the story.

In Episode 10 (@ 33:30 minutes) William Simpson instructs Ishmael:

Quote

“  ...you'll be required to hold a board of directors meeting sometime in the next stanyear.”


No further mention of this meeting is ever made.  I interpreted that phrase “in the next stanyear” to mean 'within 365 days of the forming of the company' and so was sort of expecting something to come of it, most especially since it was an important legal requirement pertaining to the corporate structure which financed and allowed Ishmael to operate.

Give that the company disbanded before the end of the year, this is a non-issue.

Then in Episode 27 (@ 03:23 minutes) William Simpson is explaining to Ishmael:

Quote

“Here's what will happen on the 26th, my boy.”  He laced his fingers together across his chest and continued. “Assuming you haven't the liquid assets needed to repay the loan, you will default and Larks, Simpson and Green will take ownership of that single share of stock that you have assigned as collateral.  Once that happens,  we'll sell it to an investor, removing ourselves from ownership and leaving you to deal with your board of directors.”

“You already have an investor, Sir?”

“We do, my boy, we do.”


This last one is rather a big issue in my mind.  Assuming that William Simpson could have figured out a way to entice someone from DST to accept ownership of that single share of stock in Ishmael's company, it would have effectively nullified Ms. Maloney's service on the Iris so that she would have failed in satisfying the terms of the will and would therefore be ineligible to take control of DST.  Such a maneuver would have triggered DST into going public and thus delivered the massive profits from the sale of the DST stock into William Simpson's greedy hands... and without any need for violence.

Speculation about such an event happening might have made for some interesting extra suspense in the plot line (was it perhaps already in the script, but removed?)

In any event, we never hear anything further concerning the sale of this single share of stock which is strange, most especially since Ishmael as head of his own corporation would have to have been informed of the name of that new shareholder.

I also see this as an integral part of the climax, or at very least an explanation in retrospect to the climax.


    1)   An attempt at selling off that share of stock to someone at DST, would have counted as the first tactic to unseat Ms. Maloney.


    2)   Failing in that, Simpson would have seized on the idea of manipulating Du Bois into bringing suit against Ms. Maloney.


    3)   Only when both of the first two attempts have failed to achieve the desired result does Simpson resort to violence in the form of Percival Herring.


At very least, it might have been interesting to hear a few sentences devoted to this when Kurt delivers his explanation about William Simpson and his links to Umbra, Bailey, etc.

That is not an option. Since everybody on the board of directors knows that stipulation of the will -- and presumably Maloney would have left instructions on how to deal with such an occurance -- and further, that Simpson knew of the situation and would not knowingly expose himself as the perpetrator of such a fraud, it was never a possibility.

You're right, though, we never did hear who bought it, did we? I'd have to go look.
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